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"I don't know, and I don't wanna know"

Hi Friends!

Its so weird on Pdays to try to remember the things that happened throughout the week. Mission time is seriously warped, man. It feels like last Pday was two days ago, but last Thursday was a week and a half ago. Basically, wish me luck as I try to communicate.

We have had some really wonderful conversations with people this week. When I first came out(says the 4 month old missionary), I'd feel super discouraged when we walked away from a door without them being interested or us planning to come back, but now (after all my weeks of experience lol) it's easier to recognize that we can be fulfilling our purpose in that moment simply by bringing the Spirit into the conversation. We talked with a man yesterday who was totally drunk, trying to numb the pain of recently losing his dad and his grandma and we talked about better ways to cope and about Heavenly Fathers plan for us. I don't know if we'll ever see him again, but it was at least a reminder for him that he knows what Christ wants him to do is not what he has been doing. 

In regards to the subject line, we helped a self-proclaimed hoarder clear out some of her garbage this week and there were so many times that we pulled out a bag or bin or whatever and she'd send it to the dump pile 'cause she didn't wanna know. I think we could sometimes do that with metaphorical baggage. We tend to hold onto things and refuse to forgive ourselves for things, at least I do, and so when we're about to get rid of it, we go to dig through the whole thing, thinking "I might need this later," or "what if...?" when we should let it go, let go of the mistakes that we've already been forgiven for, let go of the things that are allowing Satan to drag us down, and make room for better. (yep, I am now a missionary that can turn anything into a spiritual message, bam)

I feel like I've said this before, but it was a week of learning for me. Let's just all start assuming that every week was a week of learning, cause I'm a missionary and we like to do that. It was really cool though, the week started out swell, day after day (for three days) and then something got knocked off-kilter. I was discouraged and frustrated with no understanding as to why. And then, answers. so a little back story, for this transfer I'm studying one Christ-like attribute each week, and I had delayed in picking this weeks, but on Wednesday, I wrote in my journal about how I needed to pick one and I wished Peace was an option. 
So I decided as part of my personal study, I'd study Hope. I say decided, but really in was revelation. It was exactly what I didn't know I needed. Right then, my disposition changed. Discouraging things still happened, I wasn't made perfect, nor was Sister Fleming, but everything was better. Simply trying to have more confidence in God and recognizing that with hope comes patience for the things we have been PROMISED brought peace and a clearer mind. Even better, the clearer mind and lighter shoulders gave me the opportunity to fulfill the desires spoken of in Mosiah 18 and bear others burdens because I wasn't so hung up on my own any longer. What a glorious feeling. 

Everything's going well, I love my companion, I love Terrace Heights, and the non-Chicago winter weather. :)

Much Love!
Sister Shuldberg



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